How to deal with a naughty child. Advice from a famous psychologist
Most parents dream of affectionate and obedient children and http://argoprep.com/blog/norm-referenced-vs-criterion-referenced-test/. But in reality, they are often capricious, wayward and daring. To cope with their behavior, avoid conflicts and not lose your mind, our article will help you.
How to behave with a naughty child? Advice from a famous psychologist.
Parents are often worried that their children are snapping, lying, insolent and doing everything in defiance. They ask, “Is this normal? What behavior is considered natural, and what should alert? How to help a child and keep from constant scandals?
First of all, it is worth noting that children’s actions must be considered taking into account age. There is a huge difference between being cocky at 3 and being 16. Of course, such antics should not get away with either a small child or a teenager. However, some knowledge about the stages of personality development, which was described in detail by psychologist Eric Erickson, will help to understand the reasons.
STAGES OF PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
0 to 5 years
Around the age of 3, children learn to get along with others and learn what empathy and http://argoprep.com/blog/goal-and-strategy-for-schools/ is. At the same time, many have difficulties: they still do not know how to negotiate, share and listen to other people’s opinions.
6-12 years old
Between the ages of 6 and 12, children gradually realize that it is not always possible to get what they want, and that you can only be a prince or princess for your grandmother. At this age, problems often occur: it is hard to accept that others play and are not friends with you.
13-19 years old
Between the ages of 13 and 19, teenagers are looking for a place in life. They try to adapt to society, meanwhile hormones begin to play and the understanding comes that life is not a fairy tale. Growing children often express themselves through erroneous behavioral goals: revenge, the struggle for attention, the lust for power, the simulation of helplessness.
HOW TO DEAL WITH A NAUGHTY CHILD?
Parents need to figure out how to overcome difficulties in the behavior of children without losing common sense. The right strategies will help.
– 1. Don’t contradict yourself
Once established rules should not change. For example, if you can’t use foul language at home, then you can’t use it at a friend’s house either. If you don’t want your kids to skip classes, never give in.
– 2. Don’t threaten
Explain the rules and warn about responsibility. If the child breaks the rule, you will have to answer. Do not intimidate with what you are not going to do, otherwise he will learn that warnings are empty words and you can do whatever you want.
– 3. Be consistent
They said that sweets are supposed to be only after dinner, follow the rule. It is worth waving your hand a couple of times and giving dessert when dinner is not yet eaten, and the child will understand that listening to you is not necessary.
– 4. Respond immediately
Remarks hit the target only when they are spoken immediately after a bad deed. Children will not learn your belated “this is not possible!” Because they forgot what they did wrong and do not understand why they are being scolded.
– 5. Apply natural or logical punishments
For example, a child who is naughty at dinner goes to bed hungry. Hunger is a natural consequence of not eating and is the surest way to convince a child that dinner is much more enjoyable. Banning a teenager who texts while driving is a logical punishment.
– 6. Never deny your child attention
Children need to feel loved, cared for, and trusted to be good. Left without parental support, the child often behaves disgustingly to get attention. If you are surprised to hear that a recalcitrant child respects teachers and classmates, this means that he is comfortable at home. You may be glad to know that your child also needs a place to unwind and share his frustrations. He’s cheeky because he feels safe, although that’s no excuse for bad behavior.
Tune in to the positive, communicate with children more often, maintain authority and do not allow to overstep the boundaries of what is permitted.